Staying Put

“Americans are said to thrive on change and novelty. But do we? Are transient families more emotionally secure and financially stable than those who put down roots?...Humans are curious creatures and it’s natural for us to want to explore new terrain. Nevertheless, a compelling case can be made for resisting this impulse. Thriving also has something to do with settling in.” Michael A. Shuler


My dad came to visit a few weeks ago, but I forgot to give him one of his books back. So I had better comment on it quickly, before he realizes.

The second section of this book, Making the Good Life Last, Four Keys to Sustainable Living, refers to staying put. Michael Shuler talks about staying put in a location, in a vocation, in your personal life (hobbies, friends), and in relationships.

I have been thinking about this key for a while, because I have moved a lot growing up and in my early adult years. I’ve only been in Charleston for a year and a half. I love it here, but I am leaving to search for a new twist on my vocation, a PhD program in sustainability at University of Maine.

It has been a while coming to make this decision – I have tried on a few hats since I finished undergraduate work, each one teaching me a little more about what I do and don’t want to do career-wise and with my life in general. I have learned more about myself than I knew or understood in my twenties. And it has changed my choices and desires for how I live my life.

So staying put seems a difficult thing to do when you are young – I think it may be something to be aware of, but to grow into as you learn more about what you want and need. It is hard to commit to something that you do not know well. There was a church service at the Unitarian Church of Charleston here a few months back where the sermon referred to this. At coffee hour, I met someone new to the area and in their early 30s and he remarked on how unlike his life the sermon was and how it made him feel a little bad about his life. I replied that these comments about staying put seem to come from people that have moved around a bit and learned from their own mistakes.

Indeed, Michael Shuler moved around a few times, both in vocation and in location before arriving as minister at the Unitarian Church of Madison, Wisconsin. So that gives me hope. I hope that I too may find a place, vocation, and community that I can grow into and stay put in.